Corrupt a wish!

[Clank01]

The letters after your name are C, o, c and k

I wish for 10 gold bars

[Party Messiah]

They're all held in bank accounts that you cannot access.

I wish for a docile pet alligator.

[Clank01]

Your pet alligator looks like SCP-682 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682)

I wish for the lobby and dodgeball servers to open up.

[Capa_Carnage]

The lobby and dodgeball servers are open, but all your items have been replaced by rare crafting catalysts with sunbeam effect that can't be traded or used in crafting.

I wish I had a new bass amplifier.

[Party Messiah]

Your bass amplifier turns all your music into 200 decible "quacks".

I wish my cat was a friendly dinosaur in a tophat.

[Willdy]

Your cat is a friendly dinosaur in a tophat but it got forever stuck in the cat flap.

I wish to go home.

[Capa_Carnage]

You make it home, only to find pics of nonSENSE posing nude pinned up all over your house.

I want a new pair of headphones.

[Clank01]

Your headphones break your ears when you put them on, as they emit extremely loud constant noise.

I wish for viruses to never exist.

[Waabbit]

Viruses no longer exist, this causes a previously ignored strain of bacteria in your body to multiply rapidly, as the phages suppressing it cease to exist. You end up dying from bacterial infection.

I wish for world peace. domination.

[Party Messiah]

The world is dominated by a nice elderly couple who decide to leave everything as it is.

I wish for infinity wishes.

[Waabbit]

You get your infinity wishes, however you can only make a wish by saying it out loud and your vocal cords have disappeared, leaving you wondering the streets helplessly trying to explain to people what's wrong. You're swiftly taken away from society by some lovely kind men in white laboratory coats.

I wish for more alcohol plxs.

[Clank01]

You get 100% alcohol, which is poison.

I wish to be able to control any machine, not go crazy with power and be able to go into machines such as computers and play games.

[Party Messiah]

The instant you go inside the first computer a universal life-glitch happens, as you control the thing you are within with your mind, which is a subset of what you control.
Forever trapped in this vortex of inception, you become unable to leave the first game you ever entered - a 2 year-old's Hannah Montana game.

I wish I had a love potion.

[Matsuka]

You have a love potion, but you are forced to use it on this man: http://blog.getfastyoutubeviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Ugly-Man-on-YouTube.jpg

I wish I could teleport anywhere in the world.

[Party Messiah]

You can teleport anywhere! But you don't understand how to do it, and so you actually never teleport anywhere.

I wish Willdy loved me.